The Memorial Service for Bradley Aaron Holbrook

 

Brad Aaron Holbrook

(February 13, 1969-May 15, 2022)

St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church

Fargo, ND

Revelation 7.9-17

 

+ I know people expect Priests to have some kind of answer to things.

But the fact is: we oftentimes don’t.

And today, and over this last week, I can definitely say I don’t have an answer.

I don’t know why this happened.

Why this man who was in the prime of his life was taken so quickly.

I will never understand.

But I’ll say what you all have been saying no doubt...

there should’ve been more.

There was so much life ahead of him.

Now, mind you I love God.

Anyone who knows me knows I love God.

But I am angry today at God too.

(We know we can be angry at someone we love).

And it’s all right to be angry about this.

Maybe I’m not really angry at God.

But I really am angry at death, and I am angry at the unfairness of this all.

And it is unfair.

This should not have happened to someone like Brad.

Not yet.

Not this soon.

This should not have happened to Brad or to Carolin or to Frederick or to Brad’s mother and brother and the rest of the family, and all Brad’s friends.

And that makes me very angry!

I’m really angry that there wasn’t more time.

But Brad would be the first to tell us that’s it’s not fair.

Nothing’s fair.

It’s just the way it is.

And we could leave it there.

But, for those of us who have faith—for us, even in the face of this gut-wrenching pain we feel today, even in the face of our frustration and anger and sadness, we know…

This was a person who made a difference in the world and in other people’s life.

Have you been keeping up with what is being said about Brad on social media?

We now live in an age where you can tell the impact a person had in life is by the outpouring once receives on social media.

And Brad definitely has received some amazing outpouring.

And the stories that have been shared.

It’s mind-blowing.

I have been reading about the love and the care and the stories being shared on Twitter and in social media.

It’s amazing.

The fact is: Brad made a difference.

And because he did, this world is a bit more empty today without Brad in it.

The lives of everyone who knew him and experienced that generosity and caring is emptier because Brad is not there to share that.

And that makes it easier.

It is makes all of this easier knowing that Brad was who he was, that he did what he did.

It is makes it easier to know that he made a difference.

But, it is vital to remember that all this reminds us that our goodbye today is only a temporary goodbye.

All that we knew and loved about Brad is not gone for good.

It is not ashes.

Is not grief.

It is not loss.

Everything that Brad was to those who knew him and loved him and now miss him is not lost forever.

All we loved, all that was good and gracious in Brad—all that was fierce and strong and amazing in him—all of that lives on.

It lives on with all of you who experienced the kindness and generosity and love of Brad in this life.

And for those of us who have faith, faith in more than this world, we know that it goes on too.

I don’t claim to know how.

I don’t claim to know for certain what awaits us in the next world.

But I do cling to the words we find in scripture and in the Book of Common Prayer.

I do believe that all that is good and gracious and loving in Brad now dwells in a place of light and beauty and life unending.

And I do believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will see him again.

And on that day every tear will truly be wiped from your faces.

And there will be no more tears.

And it will be beautiful.

I am a huge fan of a novel many of us know well.

That novel is To Kill a Mockingbird.

Harper Lee writes:

“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.”

In so many ways, this passage captures, I think, what real courage is.

And I think Brad embodied courage like this in his own life.

Brad saw it through.

He showed us all true courage, true strength, true determination.

He showed us what real courage was.

And we should be grateful for that.

We will all miss him so much.

But I can tell you we will not forget him.

Brad Holbrook is not someone who will be easily forgotten.

He is not someone who passes quietly into the mists (though that’s probably exactly what he would’ve wanted)

His fierce determination lives on in us.

His strength, his dignity lives on in Frederick and in Carolin and in Sandy and Martin and in everyone who knew him.

His strength and his dignity lives in those he helped and encouraged and led and was an example to.  

At the end of this service, we will all stand and I will lead us in something called the Commendation.

The commendation is an incredible piece of liturgy.

In those words, we will say those very powerful words:

All of us go down
to the dust; yet even at the grave we make our song: Alleluia,
alleluia, alleluia.

That alleluia in the face of death is a defiant alleluia.

It is fist shaken not at God, but it is a fist shaken at death.

I like acts of defiance.

Because defiance sometimes shows true courage.

This alleluia we sing and say today is an act of courage and defiance in the face of death.

By it we can hear this:

Not even you, death, not even you will defeat me.

That is Brad’s voice. That is what Brad is saying to all of us today.

I will not fear you.

And I will not let you win.

And, let me tell you, death has not defeated Brad Holbrook.

Even at the grave, he makes his song—and we with him:

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia.

It is a defiant alleluia we make today with him.

So let us be defiant.

Let us shake our fists at death today.

Let us embody courage in these days to come.

Let us say our Alleluia today defiantly.

Let us face this day and the days to come with gratitude for this incredible person God let us know.

Let us be grateful.

Let us be sad, yes.

But let’s remind ourselves: death has not defeated him.

Or us.

Let us be defiant to death.

Let us sing loudly.

Let us live boldly.

Let us stand up defiantly.

Let us embody courage

That is what Brad would want us to do today, and in the future.

Into paradise may the angels lead you, Brad.

At your coming may the martyrs receive you.

And may they bring you with joy and gladness into the holy city Jerusalem.

Amen.