July 21, 2013
Colossian
1.15-28, John 10.38-42
+ A few weeks ago I preached
about “lone wolves” in the church. Specifically, I preached about how there is
no room for lone wolves in ministry. Well, I have a confession to make. My
words have come back and condemned me (as they sometimes do). I did some lone
wolf things this past weekend.
As you now, we had the wedding of
Kathy Hegge and Eric Rehm here at St. Stephen’s on Friday afternoon. It was
very nice wedding. But, what a lot of people don’t know is what goes on behind
the scenes of such events. There is a lot of work going on.
I think, many times people think
when they come into the church, that stuff just magically happens. Flowers get
arranged, the altar gets set, chairs get set out, etc. etc. Well, for this
wedding, as with any wedding, planning had to be done. The frontals on the altar
had to be changed. Readings has to be
printed. Chairs got set out. Doors were opened and the air conditioned put on. And
on and on. Little details that maybe no
one really notices had to be attended to.
Well, I did it. I know. I could’ve called Lavonne, who was on altar
guilt, to help out with some of these things. But, back before I was ordained,
one of the invaluable ministries I was trained in, by the wonderful Clotine Frear,
was to be a wedding coordinator. It was a good thing for a future priest to be
trained in. The attention to detail is important, especially for an Anglo-Catholic priest like myself.
The problem with this, is that I
got busy over the last few days and I found myself on Friday afternoon, after
the wedding, a bit, shall we say, drained. I think our organist James Mackay can
attest to his. I think he was a bit drained too for all the work he was doing
with the music for the service.
Certainly I was drained from the
heat. At one point in the service, I was wearing about five layers of
clothes—clericals, cassock, surplice, stole, cope.
But, more than anything, I was drained
from lone wolf ministry. And, even
worse, drained spiritually as well. I realized, all of a sudden, that although
we were doing these things in the church and for the Church, I had just gone a
good long time without really thinking about God or prayer. Not a good things
for your priest to do. Yes, I had prayed
the Daily Office faithfully during this time. But I hadn’t really THOUGHT about
any of it. My thoughts were not on God
all the time.
Which is also another pitfall of
lone wolf ministry. We become so intent on the job that needs to be done, that
we stop thinking about the real purpose for the work we’re doing.
Finally, yesterday afternoon, as
I sort of collapsed, I found myself looking at an ikon. It’s ikon of Jesus—one
of my favorites. An ikon, as most of know, is a sacred and holy image. In the Eastern Orthodox Church, ikons are
pictures which are sacred because they portray something sacred. They are a “window,” in a sense, to the sacred,
to the otherwise, “unseen.”
As I gazed at this ikon, I found
myself thinking about not only the Gospel reading for this morning. I found
myself thinking about how, being the lone wolf that I was being, I was really
being a Martha. But, as I pondered this
ikon of Jesus, I also thought about the Pauls’ Letter to the Colossians, that
we also heard this morning.
In that letter, in the original
Greek, Paul uses the word “eikon” used
to describe the “image” of Christ Jesus. Our reading this morning opens with
those wonderful words,
“Jesus is the image of the
invisible God…”
Image in Greek is eikon. As I pondered,
as I gazed at the ikon, all these things came together and I suddenly sort of “got it.” As I pondered
Paul’s letter, I realized that, yes, Paul does see Jesus as the image or eikon of
God. Jesus, for him, is the window into
the unseen God. And, I had to admit, even in that tired state, that’s exactly
what I believed as well.
To me, Jesus is very much that
eikon of God. When I see Jesus (even in the ikon), I see God. When I gaze upon the face of Jesus in icons, I
feel as though I am truly gazing upon the Face of the Divine. And I have no
doubt that is exactly who I am seeing.
I don’t know about you, but I do
need things like icons in my own spiritual life. I need help more often than not in my prayer
life. If I don’t have that help, I fall into my lone wolf tendencies. I need
images. I need to use the senses God gave me to worship God. All of my senses.
I need them just the way I need
incense and vestments and bells and good music and the Eucharist. These things feed me spiritually. In them, I am actually sustained. My vision is
sustained. My sense of smell is
sustained. My sense of touch is sustained. My sense of taste is sustained. My
sense of hearing is sustained. And when it all comes together, I truly feel the
Presence of God, here in our midst.
I can’t tell you how many times I
have stood at this altar and during the singing of the Agnes Dei—the Lamb of
God—and I have actually looked down at that broken bread and into that Cup and
have felt, amazingly, that real Presence of Jesus, right here, in our very
midst. I have looked upon it and seen Jesus. And in seeing Jesus, I truly have
gazed upon God. I have been made aware in that holy moment that this truly is
Jesus on this altar. This truly is the Sacred and Holy Presence of God, here in
our midst.
I can’t tell you how many times I have gazed deeply into an icon of Jesus and
truly felt his Presence there with me, staring back at me with a familiarity
that simply blows me away.
And for those of us who are
followers of Jesus, who are called to love others as we love our God, when we
gaze deeply into the eyes of those we serve, there too we see this incredible
Presence of God in our midst.
This, I think, is what Paul is
getting at in his letter. We truly do meet the invisible God in the Presence of
Jesus—whether we experience that presence in the Eucharist, in the hearing of
God’s Word, in ikons or in those we are called to serve.
For years, I used to complain—and it really was a complaint—about the fact that
I was “searching for God.” I used to love to quote the writer Carson McCullers,
who once said, “writing, for me, is a search for God.” But I have now come to
the realization—and it was quite a huge realization—that I have actually found
God. I am not searching and questing after God, aimlessly or blindly searching
for God in the darkness anymore. I am not searching for God because I have
truly found God. I found God in this person, Jesus. And, strangely, after all
my lone wolf ministry on Friday, all my Martha-like behavior, I, with that
ikon, was able to now be Mary to that Martha.
Certainly in our Gospel reading
for today, Mary also sees Jesus as the
eikon of God. Martha is the busybody—the
lone wolf. And Mary is the ikon-gazer.
On Friday, I was Martha. And then later on, I was Mary. And I think many of us have been there as
well. It’s seems most of us are sometimes are either Marthas and Marys, But, the reality is simply that most of us are
a little bit of both at times. Yes, we
are busybodies. We are lone wolves. But
we are also contemplatives, like Mary. There is a balance between the two.
I understand that there are times
we need to be a busybodies and there are times in which we simply must slow
down and quietly contemplate Jesus. When
we recognize that Jesus is truly the image of God, we find ourselves at times
longingly gazing at Jesus or quietly sitting in his Presence. But sometimes that recognition of who Jesus is
stirs us. It lights a fire within us and
compels us to go out and do the work that needs to be done.
But unlike Martha, we need to do
that work without worry or distraction. When we are in Jesus’ presence—when we
recognize that in Jesus we have truly found what we are questing for, what we
are searching for, what we are longing for—we find that worry and distraction
have fallen away from us. We don’t want anything to come between us and this
marvelous revelation of God we find before us.
In that way, Mary truly has
chosen the better part. So, let us also choose the better part. Let us be Marys
in this way. Let us balance our lives in such a way that, yes, we work, but we
do so without distraction, without worry, with being the lone wolf, without
letting work be our god, getting in the way of that time to serve Jesus and be
with Jesus and those Jesus sends our way. Let us also, however, take time to sit quietly
in that Presence and to gaze longingly at the Jesus who is more than just
another human. Let us, rather, look into
his face, let us look deeply into his eyes, and see there the fullness of God
that was pleased to dwell there. And, in that holy moment, we will know: we
have chosen the better part, which will never be taken away from us.